"We apologize for being kidnapped." It ought to be made up for Purim, but it's not.
Sara Netanyahu continues to entertain (and infuriate) the nation, a glimpse at what Israelis think of HOT, Israel's primary cable company, and a Purim crowdsource competition! Happy Purim!
As the article from Times of Israel above notes, Sara Netanyahu apparently complained to a Channel 12 reporter that the hostages and their families did not contact the Netanyahu’s to thank them for getting them out of captivity. The Netanyahu’s are denying that she said it, of course, but interestingly, Yisrael Hayom, the paper that Sheldon Adelson founded to support Bibi, reported the interchange as fact on Friday, without even mentioning that Bibi and clan were denying it.
Needless to say, when reports of what she’d said first aired, the country erupted with stupefaction and derision.
In the spirit of Purim, here’s one of the many images that made its way around Israeli social media:
Instead of “Bring them Home Now!!,” which is what the signs and shirts here all say, this has her wearing a shirt that says “Bring them Manners Now!!” Many Israelis are also wearing dog tags. They come in a variety of wordings, including “Bring them Home Now!!,” or just “NOW!!” or “Our Heart is in Gaza.”
This image is a play on the latter wording. The Hebrew on the dog tag in the image here is הלב שלנו במאימי, or “Our Heart is in Miami.” That’s a reference to her son Yair, who, it is reported, has been “banished” to a penthouse in Miami where he causes his father fewer headaches.
More than a few Israeli papers have published photos of Yair on the porch of the penthouse, with the occasional remark that while he’s there, thousands of other Israelis his age are in combat.
And not surprisingly, more than a few Sara and Vashti jokes are making their way around town.
Further in the spirit of Purim …
I’ve had the same conversation with salespeople from HOT, Israel’s leading cable company, numerous times. As every Israeli who’s ever tried to leave HOT knows, it’s virtually impossible. It’s become a national joke. Once you’re in, you’re in for life.
If you want a challenge in life, you could get a PhD in Astrophysics from Oxford. If you want a harder challenge, though, try to get out of your HOT account.
When they call me, which they do regularly, this is the conversation. When it happens in the car and we’re on speakerphone, my wife can barely believe the conversation is real. But it is.
"Is this Daniel?”
”Yes.”
“Hi, this is so-and-so from HOT. How are you?”
“I’m not only fine, but I actually have a perfect life.”
Silence. … Then I ask:
“Do you want to know why I have a perfect life?”
“Ugh, sure.”
“Because I finally got out of my HOT account.”
Somehow, the call seems to drop at that point. Until they call back a few days later.
Turns out, I’m not the only one who loves to recount her or his conversations with HOT. So here’s a video that Israelis just love, to which we’ve added subtitles.
MONDAY (03/25): Last Friday, we posted Part I of a series of lectures by Haviv Rettig Gur at Shalem College. Many readers wrote to say that they loved the lecture, so we’re linking to the second episode. In the episode we share today, he explains why the Palestinians’ fundamental misreading of Israelis has not only hampered their efforts, but is objectively wrong, and has, in many ways, destroyed their people. PLUS, a mother explains how her very young daughter is dealing with the fact that her father has been a hostage for five months, with no end in sight.
TUESDAY (03/26): On several occasions in the past, we’ve posted iconic Israeli songs and have shown how they morphed over time, reflecting changing Israeli sentiments, attitudes, and history. We’ve focused on music the way that we do because of how central Israeli music still is to getting a glimpse of the soul of the country. Today, we are going to hear a new version of an old song, revised to reflect the tragedy we’re in. .The words don’t change, but melody is the same, but it’s a totally different song with a harrowing effect.
WEDNESDAY (03/27): Israel’s national archive, strangely, is offline and closed to the public. Why is that? Is it really a technical snafu? Or is something else at play? We speak to the former director of the Israel State Archives, Dr. Yaakov Lozowick, to discuss not only this specific issue, but the Archive in general, how it started, how it works, and what challenges it faces. We’ll post an excerpt for everyone, and the full conversation for our paid subscribers.
THURSDAY (03/28): In this time or crisis and immense heartbreak, Israelis and world Jewry have come together in a big way, especially to volunteer on the ground in Israel. Today, we share a conversation with the co-founders of Sword of Iron - Israel Volunteer Opportunities, Yocheved Ruttenberg and Hagit Amar. Related to the issue of volunteering, we will also share a conversation I had with Dr. Steven Frank, a radiation oncologist from Houston, TX who came to Israel to volunteer at Rambam hospital in Haifa.
FRIDAY (03/29): A new series of videos called “240 seconds” is making its way around Israel. They’re four minutes long, mostly about the need for a change in government, but also, in many cases, interesting and illuminating about moments in Israel’s past. Today we’ll sample one with one of Israel’s preeminent historians, Professor Anita Shapira, on how David Ben-Gurion thought when his Israel was under attack.
Finally, for Purim …
I’m not the one who noticed the similarity between the photos of Chief Sephardic Rabbi Yitzhak Yosef on the left, and Hezbollah’s Hassan Nasrallah on the right. In fact, we copied these two photos next to each other from a news source. Someone else at a news outlet, not us, created the montage.
Nasrallah is in the news here regularly, for all the obvious reasons. Rabbi Yosef made headlines when he recently warned that if the Haredim are forced to serve in the army, they will simply emigrate from Israel. You can imagine the country’s reaction….
In the spirit of the New Yorker, which publishes cartoons and asks readers to compete for the best caption, we’re doing the same with the photo duo above. Suggest your best caption for the photo combo. The deadline for submissions is end of day on April 1.
Put your suggested caption in the COMMENTS section and a small jury (which will not include me) will pick the winner, and I’ll send you signed copy of my book, Impossible Takes Longer.
And a bit more somber….
And because this Purim is different from most, we end, more seriously, with a prayer, that just as the Book of Esther says that the Jews of Shushan experienced “light, joy and rejoicing,” so, too, may the coming months see every hostage brought home, and healing of body and spirit to those in need.
Wishes for a Purim that is as happy as possible.
Impossible Takes Longer is available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble and at other booksellers.
Research on twins separated at birth appears to demonstrate that certain tendencies are innate…
One of these clerics makes empty threats against Israel; the other is the leader of an Iranian-proxy terrorist army.